Man of the Year Awards

Ladies, try not to get too jealous when you read today’s post. I was encouraged by reading a post on SpeakingThruMe to examine what I say about others on my blog. I try to be very positive in general when speaking about my husband, Judd. But sometimes a funny anecdote, like setting things on fire, if I’m not careful, can turn into bashing or condescending. (Although Judd loved that particular post)

I got to thinking, “How can I bless my husband through this blog, and quiet his fears that I am venting about him?” Bloggers get awards all the time, but what about the spouses who sit waiting for said blogger to come cuddle on the couch?

So here it is: the Man of the Year Award! Every husband does something worthy to be praised, so let me start by showing you the HUGE playset he lovingly built for our three Princess Monkeys! It still needs some railings and grass, since we just built our house, but just look at this thing!

Now, you may think Judd bought one of those kits from Lowe’s, and simply followed directions to assemble it. Yeah, right, since when do men read directions? He designed the darn thing himself!! In true Judd frugality, he paid 1/3 of the price of the biggest kit, too! In all honesty, I was a little worried when he said he wasn’t using a blueprint. Boy was I wrong, it turned out great.

Of course, I shouldn’t have expected less. This is the man who built an entire climbing wall in our last house’s basement! He even made the holds with his friend, Matt. And yes, he disassembled it and brought it to the new house. I have no doubt it will find a home in our new basement soon.

Not only did he build this playset, he did it while being alone with the kids almost all weekend. I had a million things to do last weekend. While I would have usually said no to some, I loved all these activities, and asked him if he could just take over the kids for the weekend. He selflessly said yes, so after working hard doing landscaping all week, he played super-dad!

All this building and kid duty may sound trivial to some of you, but it is just an example of who he is as a man. Selfless, creative, handy, fun, daddy, husband, love of my life.

If you are curious about how we met and married, and more ways he is such a blessing to me, read this post.

Now it’s your turn! Write a post about why your husband deserves the Man of the Year Award. Copy and paste the code below for the button, then leave your link to the specific post.

Male readers, may I suggest getting your wife to guest blog on your site, or as Ben may be tempted to do, write a hilarious fake post about great it is to be married to you!

I’ll be sure to get by to read about your wonderful husbands. Here is the code for the button:

<a href=”http://photobucket.com/” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s14/juddsarah/Man-of-the-Year-Button.jpg” alt=”Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket” border=”0″ /></a>

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Restoration: My Marriage

This post is kind of long, but I don’t know another way to tell the story. You will see why when you get to the end! It can be read alone, or as part of the Restoration Series.

Most of my friends know that my husband and I met and married in a whirlwind. We got engaged two months after we met, then were married four months after that. When I look back, I feel I should apologize to my family for giving them heart-attacks. I’m sure there were plenty of rumors about whether I was pregnant or insane or something.

What many people don’t know, however, is what an instrument of healing he was for me. I feel led to share this incredibly personal story, not to shock you, but to share how good God is.

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.” Joel 2:25-26

They say “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” and he does, but sometimes when you look back, it’s amazing how it all falls perfectly into place.

When I was younger, I was so hungry for love, that I bought into all the things that society and peers tell us. I was fairly popular in High School, and I did well in school. But I was heavily into the party scene.

It wasn’t till college that it started spinning out of control.

When I was a freshman, I was at a party of football players, cheerleaders, dance team (which I was on), and various other sports, when I blacked out. I came to the next day in an apartment, and realized that a terrible thing had happened. Another dance team freshman was there, too. She ended up leaving school the next week. I can only guess that we were drugged, since there were two of us in the same place. I still have no idea what exactly happened, but I stuffed the pain in the back of my mind, pulled myself up, and went on. I quit the dance team, and got involved with my music friends instead of the jocks, but the scene wasn’t too different there. Lots of partying, etc. Many other awful things happened as a result of my self-destructive lifestyle.

As I was searching for God, a supposed Christian guy came into my life, and started “helping” me discover Christ. His motives, however, weren’t entirely pure and it was very confusing. You can imagine. God used all that I was learning, in spite of this guy, to prepare me to receive Him.

In 1994, I finally realized that Christ died to set me free from my sin. All I had to do was turn from my ways, accept Him as my Savior and commit to allow Him to change me. And boy, is he faithful to do it.

There is a little more to the story, but here is the bottom line. Two of my friends and mentors, Reed and Tab, had waited until their wedding day for their first kiss. My heart leapt when I heard this! It was so foreign to me, but it was so incredibly romantic and pure, that I decided it was what I wanted. For once, I wanted to do this relationship thing right! So I made a promise to God that I did not want to kiss another man until he was my husband. I made the decision that I would NOT be taken advantage of again, and I knew God would bless me for desiring to do things His way.

I went on a few dates after that, and when I shared my desire to wait for any type of physical relationship, I judged the guy’s reaction. If he said he would respect my decision, but didn’t really have a passion for staying pure himself, I was gone. A few times it was extremely hurtful, because I really liked the guy, and they didn’t really understand why it was so important. However, I knew my God would be faithful!

Then came Judd. He says he knew the minute he saw me that we would be married. We spent so much time together in the next few weeks, and one night, talking in his car, I knew he was the one.

J: “I want to tell you something, but you’re going to think I’m crazy.”
S: “No I won’t, come on.”
J: “OK, I’ve decided that the next time I kiss a girl, I want it to be on the alter at our wedding.”
S: (speechless! Tears escaping down my face) “REALLY?!!”
J: “I know, it’s pretty insane, but I feel really strongly about it.”
S: “No, no. Actually I’ve said the same thing, and I’ve been waiting for someone like you.”
J: (sheepish grin) “Oh? Cool.”

The rest is history. You should have seen my Italian Catholic family when the church erupted in applause as we kissed. I was sure I’d fall down and faint right there on the alter. It was beyond romantic! (And let me just tell you, in this case, you don’t have to test drive the car before buying!)

This story is why I will NEVER doubt that Judd is my soul mate. The one I was made for. I never understood the scripture in Ephesians before God brought me this wonderful man after His own heart.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing^[a] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Eph 5:25-27

How can a man cleanse a woman by washing her through the Word? With this act of obedience to God, my husband, along with Jesus, erased all the abuse that had been done to me in my past life, and presented me to himself as a radiant bride, holy and blameless. I am bursting with thanks to my God, and my husband, for their faithfulness!

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Woman to Woman – Keeping the Marriage Alive

Tips and Tricks – Keeping your marriage alive: Whether you’ve been married for 38 years, 8 years or are a newlywed, you’ve probably picked up a few keys to a happy marriage, one which is nurturing and continues to grow. Maybe your marriage has struggled, but you’ve found a road back to each other and have insights to offer those in a similar situation.

What would you say are the three most key elements in your marriage that keep the romance alive and the heart aflutter?”

Hubby and I have had 10 years of marital bliss. Well, it has always been marital, but not necessarily always bliss. I do feel that our marriage is stronger than it has ever been right at this moment. We’ve never had any huge marital problems, mainly because I’ve got a man who follows God with all his heart! But pushing through each challenge adds a layer of armor, strong enough to withstand the next one. The following are my top three tips for energizing your marriage.

Determine each other’s love language. In the book, The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman outlines the primary ways we give and receive love. They are:

• words of affirmation
• quality time
• receiving gifts
• physical touch
• acts of service

Hubby and my differing love languages affected us tremendously in the beginning, and we didn’t even realize it. One of his primary love languages is acts of service. However, mine is quality time. He was showing me love by working all the time on the house, the lawn, his second job to provide money for the family. The problem was, I was not receiving it, because all I wanted was for him to be with me. In fact, I thought he was avoiding me and felt rejected. Simply understanding our differences changed so much inside us. We were able to give love in the way the other would receive it, and understand the unique ways the other was loving us.
Take the quiz here.

Take a lesson from NIKE, know what I mean? Ah, the dreaded s-word, which can cause so much tension in a marriage. As a woman, I will never truly understand what sex means to a man, and why it is such a big deal. I love it, don’t get me wrong, but I think it is uniquely tied to a man’s sense of connection with his wife. For this reason, sometimes, you have to “just do it,” whether you are inspired or not. This especially applies in the baby and toddler years, when you feel like a milk factory and he’s starving for the attention you must divide with the kids. For the wife, the benefits of sex extend beyond the bedroom. I’ve noticed that if I take the time to connect with my husband in the way he needs it, he will go the extra mile to make me feel loved. Who doesn’t need the dishes done or love an extra backrub, or better yet, a night out without the kids?

Have fun on purpose! You can’t rely on the spontaneous fun that just happens, although that is great, too. You have to plan things that you will enjoy together, with the kids and without. We have had many issues that have been worked out by a night of belly laughing!

Visit Seeds From My Garden and My Many Colored Days for more Woman to Woman posts or to join in yourself.

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